the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we're making bets on your personal life
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize