there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dignity is for republicans.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
