people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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