apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize