Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
