Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we made out on top of his cat.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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