She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
