i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize