Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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