so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
