On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
