how can u be prego again
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
