i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
