Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize