...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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