She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
