I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
