Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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