Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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