I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
