shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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