3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
