don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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