The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
