Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
