Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
