that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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