I am in a vortex of obligation.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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