There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
