Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
