idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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