I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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