He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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