we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
