pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
