New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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