spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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