kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize