bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
do herpes really smell.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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