No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
