remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it glows. i had to have it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
