He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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