I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
