You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
