How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
