LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize