so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just high enough for therapy.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
