just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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