ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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