found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
