I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
