The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
