my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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