ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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