Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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