Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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