So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
