Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
