Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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