Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
