plz talk dirty to me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
